A funny thing happened on the way to last night’s chapter meeting. Really. Shirley—your resident VeeP & whirly, curly poetry goddess—and I dropped into Dunkin’ Donuts to pick up some Munchkins for the meeting. I figured folx might enjoy something to snack on while sipping their coffee. Okay, I wanted something to snack on while I sipped my coffee. Funny thing was, they were out of Munchkins.
Now, up to this point, Shirley & I were running fine on time. But how does a Dunkin’ Donuts not have donut holes? I mean, all the other crap they carry, nowadays—artisan this, gourmet that—you think they could at least stick to their original mission and make sure they have DONUTS. They had full sized donuts, sure, but those tiny, delicious pieces of negative space work easier for larger groups. Besides, I don’t want any of the ladies who grace our meetings to accuse me of ruining their lovely figures.
The guys behind the counter offered us regular donuts, which we declined for the above stated reasons, and possibly some artisan this and gourmet that. I really couldn’t tell you because their English was limited to the words donuts, munchkins, artisan, & gourmet. Ultimately, we were assured that if we returned at 3:00AM, Munchkins would be made available to us. Apparently, our options were to find a bar where we could party with Towson students until closing, then amble our way toward the neon Double D, or go elsewhere. As tempting as partying with college co-eds sounded, Shirl & I opted for the latter.
Of course, now time was getting slim. Time had gotten out of hand at the last meeting where our guests, fresh off a plane from the West Coast that morning, were a bit delayed. I was forced to stall, which led to a slightly embarrassing, but utterly hilarious, discussion about zombie erotica (to benefit charity, no less!). We didn’t want another instance of waiting leading to chaos, as fun as that can be. We decided on Trader Joe’s. I remembered they sell these lovely brownie bites sprinkled with sea salt. Perfect.
We pulled into the Towsontown Center garage near the Macy’s and cut that first right, which leads directly to Trader Joe’s. We ran in, first aisle, there they are plus some donut holes, register, done. Time to spare.
The easiest way to get to where you came from is to leave the same way, right? Not in Towsontown. On the way out, the path veered us into the maze that is the Towson Town Center garage complex. It took us through loops and spirals before, precious minutes later, finally dumping us back onto Dulaney Valley Road. Our plans to arrive by 6:30 had been thwarted by negligent donut artistes, communication breakdowns, and a vortex of white concrete that sucked us in and nearly refused to spit us back out. I think next time I’ll just bake cookies. After all, cookies sound funnier than Munchkins, with more “K” sounds in the word. Although, I think “eating a Munchkin” sounds funnier than “eating a cookie.”
Maybe you had to be there…
Big thanks to everyone who made it to our monthly gathering. Thanks to Gerald Levin for his informative & entertaining presentation on humor and how to incorporate it into our writing. Hopefully, he inspired you all to find your inner Woody Allen—the humor, not the creepy dating your own daughter thing.
Anyhow, it was great to see such a big crowd. New faces. Not so new faces. Faces we haven’t seen in a while. If attendance keeps growing, we may have to find a bigger venue. That wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, would it. We’ll make sure we’re close to decent, yet inexpensive, little pastries and far from devious labyrinths that make you feel like your soul is being sucked out.
Stay tuned, right here, for information on volunteering at the MWA tent & auditions for YOUR CHANCE to read at the Baltimore Book Festival. Much Love—PREZ